Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Bars, Bunco and Book clubs

I will preface this with... I love Bunco and book clubs.

I was at work the other day talking to some friends. One of them had mentioned going out to a bar this weekend. It got me thinking... "when was the last time I have been to a bar?" The last time was with my best friend, Jennie. We didn't go out to party, dance or pick up guys. We went out to have a few drinks, bitch about our husbands and talk about our kids. Very few sentences I utter don't have the word "husband" or "child" in them. This last time was a few months ago, so in reality it hasn't been too long. Then I asked myself "when was the last time I have been asked to go to a bar?" This is a VERY big distinction. I am 28, that isn't too old, right? I can go to bars and go out dancing... can't I? My friends are split about 50/50. 50% married with kids and 50% single or married with no children. 

It got me thinking.... maybe when you become a mother you start producing some kind of pheromone that deters people from asking you to go to a bar. "Hey Amanda, you want to go to a bar.... wait I smell milk, cookies, and baby vomit. Nevermind." If I were to tell my husband or my friends I felt like going out dancing and drinking the reply would be... "But your a mother!" (Enter shocked voice inflection here). I have no lack of people asking me to play Bunco, join a book club or go to a Pampered Chef party (see my above preface... I love you all). What is the deal?!

Even as I read this to my husband to make sure it is witty enough... he responded with "Why would you want to go to a bar?"


My response to him is simply... when did I become too old, or to "mommy" to go? Where did my pre-child, dance-loving self go? Was it me that changed or was it everyone's perception of me? I may never know.

**By the way I am looking for a good book club :)

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

My Parent's Mortality

It has been a while.... I had started working on this entry during the summer and I am finally prepared to share it.

A little over a month ago my dad was in a car accident. He was rear-ended by a truck when he was at a complete stop. He was slammed into another car that was stopped in front of him. So, he ended up crushed in between the two vehicles. My mom texted me to let me know what had happened. I was in an instant panic. Is he ok? What happened? Is he out of the car? Are you going to the ER? I was at work when I got the message and was visibly upset.

All I could think about was that my dad might die. I don't know how to live in a world where my dad is dead.

He is fine :) but it really worried me. Then I realized that some day I may be in a world where my parents aren't. How do I deal with that?

I have friends that have lost parents. I don't know how they function. I know that I can go to my mom and ask her any question and she will give me an answer... sometimes not the answer I want... she is my mother after all, but an answer nonetheless.

My dad and I have always had a close relationship. He is the type of dad that will listen to you, but not give you a knee jerk reaction. He will ponder what you have said, sometimes to the point that you wonder if he even remembers the conversation (we are talking days people), and then give you an answer that is well thought out and full of love and understanding.

When you have amazing parents it is hard to ever imagine being without them. So, if that or when that day comes how do you function? I still don't have an answer and I don't think I will get one any time soon. I am going to try to cherish the time all of us have together and try to be the best parent I can be to my children because they will have these questions some day too.