So, I barely got through half of my list today. I took the kids to the park with my best friend and that was a lot of fun. She always seems to ground me. I can let everything out and she won't just agree with me, but give me something constructive that I can work with.
I made it home from the park before my husband got home for lunch and was able to make lunch by the time he walked in the door. I did the dishes (well.... the big stuff /blush) and some of the laundry.
Here come my excuses:
I didn't sleep well last night. I ended up having to take something to fall asleep, but that wasn't until 3am. I woke up at about 7:30 and fed the kids and we went to the park. When we got home... I took a nap. Just saying it makes me realize how much I could have gotten done during that nap.
Eventually I will get over this and write about something else ;)
Friday, July 23, 2010
Mission Possible?: Become a PERFECT Wife...
Ok. I am not entirely sure this is possible, but I am going to try to become the "perfect wife." That's right! Perfect. The only problem is, I am not sure what that entails. So, I open the floor to all of you.
Here is my background... I have a full time job, but I work at night so I can maintain the household and take care of the kids. I manage the money and do most of the cooking.
I know perfection isn't going to happen overnight. So, here are my goals for tomorrow:
1. Deep Clean the kitchen and bathrooms.
2. Dishes
3. Laundry
4. Take the kids to the park
5. Make lunch and have it ready when my husband walks in the door for his lunch break
6. Make dinner and have it cooking when my husband gets home and I leave for work
7. Put up the shelves in my bedroom
8. Flirt via text with my hubby all day to make him feel special
That is all I have so far... I hope I can fit it in and stay sane. I will follow-up tomorrow night and let you know how it goes.
In case you are curious about what brought this on... my husband and I had the oddest fight today. It really wasn't even a fight, it was just him being insecure. So, I feel guilty because he thinks he isn't enough of a man for me. Of course I tell him he is more than enough (which is true) and that I love him with all of my heart. Then I think, maybe I am not enough of a woman. I know I have talked about this before, but it is one of those things that just gets under my skin and bugs me. I CAN be doing more, therefore, I SHOULD be doing more.
Everyday my hubby gets home and I can see the look of disappointment on his face because the house isn't clean. Sometimes I want to SCREAM at him that I work the same number of hours that he does, and I do it at night. I wake up after 4-5 hours of sleep and spend all day with the kids before I have to go to work. Then I stop and realize, I have to be awake anyway so, I should be doing more around the house. I just can't seem to find the motivation. I would rather read a book, play with my kids, or watch TV.
The other thing that annoys me is that there are women out there who do it all. There are full time career women who make it home, make dinner, clean the house and read their kids books, have time to look gorgeous and then have crazy, passionate sex with their husbands. What are they on?! and how do I get some? Or are they just more motivated than I am? And if so, how do I motivate myself?
So, this is where this mission came from. I hope I find the motivation and energy I need.
Here is my background... I have a full time job, but I work at night so I can maintain the household and take care of the kids. I manage the money and do most of the cooking.
I know perfection isn't going to happen overnight. So, here are my goals for tomorrow:
1. Deep Clean the kitchen and bathrooms.
2. Dishes
3. Laundry
4. Take the kids to the park
5. Make lunch and have it ready when my husband walks in the door for his lunch break
6. Make dinner and have it cooking when my husband gets home and I leave for work
7. Put up the shelves in my bedroom
8. Flirt via text with my hubby all day to make him feel special
That is all I have so far... I hope I can fit it in and stay sane. I will follow-up tomorrow night and let you know how it goes.
In case you are curious about what brought this on... my husband and I had the oddest fight today. It really wasn't even a fight, it was just him being insecure. So, I feel guilty because he thinks he isn't enough of a man for me. Of course I tell him he is more than enough (which is true) and that I love him with all of my heart. Then I think, maybe I am not enough of a woman. I know I have talked about this before, but it is one of those things that just gets under my skin and bugs me. I CAN be doing more, therefore, I SHOULD be doing more.
Everyday my hubby gets home and I can see the look of disappointment on his face because the house isn't clean. Sometimes I want to SCREAM at him that I work the same number of hours that he does, and I do it at night. I wake up after 4-5 hours of sleep and spend all day with the kids before I have to go to work. Then I stop and realize, I have to be awake anyway so, I should be doing more around the house. I just can't seem to find the motivation. I would rather read a book, play with my kids, or watch TV.
The other thing that annoys me is that there are women out there who do it all. There are full time career women who make it home, make dinner, clean the house and read their kids books, have time to look gorgeous and then have crazy, passionate sex with their husbands. What are they on?! and how do I get some? Or are they just more motivated than I am? And if so, how do I motivate myself?
So, this is where this mission came from. I hope I find the motivation and energy I need.
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Writer's Block
Normally I have things in my day that will inspire me to write... I haven't had anything in 2 weeks!!! I don't know what is going on. I know I have been busy, but usually something will happen that will give me an idea.
So, I am just writing to write at this point :) Hoping that inspiration will come.
If you ever take a writing class one of the exercizes they make you do is an exercize where you just write, you keep writing until something comes to you.
This is my attempt....
STILL NO INSPIRATION!!!
So, I am just writing to write at this point :) Hoping that inspiration will come.
If you ever take a writing class one of the exercizes they make you do is an exercize where you just write, you keep writing until something comes to you.
This is my attempt....
STILL NO INSPIRATION!!!
Thursday, June 10, 2010
When I grow up...
When you are a kid you think of what you want to be when you grow up. The possibilities are endless.... A rock star, doctor, lawyer, PR exec... Then adulthood comes and the possibilities are not so endless. I work for an insurance company. No one ever says, "When I grow up I want to work in Property and Casualty insurance answering peoples stupid questions all day." I have never heard anyone utter that phrase, but here I am. It is a good job. Benefits are good and the pay is good as well. So, it helps me provide for my family. But what about providing for my soul? OK, I know how cheesy that sounds, but it's what I am feeling right now.
I STILL don't know what I want to be when I grow up... and I am already grown up. Before I had kids I thought about going into PR. I went to culinary school, thought about becoming a nurse. I am all over the place. I take those online career assessment tests all of the time. I really don't think those work. They keep pointing me back to Accounting or Finance. Those are things I am good at, not passionate about.
When we get to a certain age, is it time to stop dreaming? Do we have to take what we have and just live with it? Or is my dream still out there waiting to be realized? And if it is out there, what is it? How do I find it and when does it start?
I STILL don't know what I want to be when I grow up... and I am already grown up. Before I had kids I thought about going into PR. I went to culinary school, thought about becoming a nurse. I am all over the place. I take those online career assessment tests all of the time. I really don't think those work. They keep pointing me back to Accounting or Finance. Those are things I am good at, not passionate about.
When we get to a certain age, is it time to stop dreaming? Do we have to take what we have and just live with it? Or is my dream still out there waiting to be realized? And if it is out there, what is it? How do I find it and when does it start?
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Compromise?
I want to preface this by saying I think ALL relationships fall into this type of situation. I love my hubby and I am very happy. This is just something I have been thinking about lately.
Are relationships really equal? We are supposed to be partners. Partners that share all responsibility 50/50, right? I have yet to meet a relationship that is like that. There is always one person that gives more than the other. No offense to the men out there, but it seems to be the women that compromise themselves more.
Marriage is difficult. It needs to be worked at, but when one person is doing so much and the other seems to be not doing as much is that how it should be?
For example, in my marriage... My husband and I both work full time jobs. I work at night until 1 AM so we can avoid paying childcare. I then have to wake up at 7 AM to get my daughter to school, feed the kids, take the dog out etc. I stay home with my son all day, do the laundry, dishes, make dinner (most nights), take the dog out again, work in the garden... the list goes on and on.
My husband gets home at 4:30 PM. I usually have dinner started or close to done. He has to feed the kids and put them in bed for the night. This hardly seems like a 50/50 situation. But I do it... WE do it. It works for us. I also balance the checkbook and pay all the bills. My husband will openly admit that if I died he would have no idea what our bills are.
Maybe it is an ALPHA dog situation... there can only be one.
As a woman though am I molding my husband to know I will just do everything? For example, the laundry... I HATE putting laundry away. It is the bane of my existence. So, my hubby and I do a little dance. I will wash all the laundry and put it on the floor beside the bed on HIS side. There it sits sometimes for weeks. He says he will put it away, but it never happens. He knows that I will eventually break down and do it... and I ALWAYS do. Why do I torture myself with unfolded/unhung laundry for weeks when I know I will do it anyway? Did I do this to myself because I pampered my husband? Have I created this habit?
The other side of the coin is ME. Am I giving things up to handle all of this? Should I delegate some of this responsibility to him? Would I be able to spend more time with my kids? Take up a hobby? And if I could delegate would I just let him do it? Or would I micro-manage him?
I wish there was an easy answer to this...
Are relationships really equal? We are supposed to be partners. Partners that share all responsibility 50/50, right? I have yet to meet a relationship that is like that. There is always one person that gives more than the other. No offense to the men out there, but it seems to be the women that compromise themselves more.
Marriage is difficult. It needs to be worked at, but when one person is doing so much and the other seems to be not doing as much is that how it should be?
For example, in my marriage... My husband and I both work full time jobs. I work at night until 1 AM so we can avoid paying childcare. I then have to wake up at 7 AM to get my daughter to school, feed the kids, take the dog out etc. I stay home with my son all day, do the laundry, dishes, make dinner (most nights), take the dog out again, work in the garden... the list goes on and on.
My husband gets home at 4:30 PM. I usually have dinner started or close to done. He has to feed the kids and put them in bed for the night. This hardly seems like a 50/50 situation. But I do it... WE do it. It works for us. I also balance the checkbook and pay all the bills. My husband will openly admit that if I died he would have no idea what our bills are.
Maybe it is an ALPHA dog situation... there can only be one.
As a woman though am I molding my husband to know I will just do everything? For example, the laundry... I HATE putting laundry away. It is the bane of my existence. So, my hubby and I do a little dance. I will wash all the laundry and put it on the floor beside the bed on HIS side. There it sits sometimes for weeks. He says he will put it away, but it never happens. He knows that I will eventually break down and do it... and I ALWAYS do. Why do I torture myself with unfolded/unhung laundry for weeks when I know I will do it anyway? Did I do this to myself because I pampered my husband? Have I created this habit?
The other side of the coin is ME. Am I giving things up to handle all of this? Should I delegate some of this responsibility to him? Would I be able to spend more time with my kids? Take up a hobby? And if I could delegate would I just let him do it? Or would I micro-manage him?
I wish there was an easy answer to this...
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Complete Frustration...
The day started like any other... birds chirping, kids screaming... the usual. I thought to myself today is going to be a good day. I can relax a little in the morning. Get Katy off to school. Timmy and I will hang out, do the laundry and dishes all that good stuff.
It started out OK. Then it seemed to get progressively worse. The catalyst to the bad day was when my son decided he needed to have some yogurt. Not just any yogurt, but the yogurt behind a whole bunch of other stuff in the fridge. Of course he didn't tell me he wanted any yogurt. I was changing the laundry over in the other room when I heard water. Why am I hearing water?! I run into the kitchen, and it isn't water. It is a 2 quart pitcher full of juice spilling all over the inside of my fridge and on my floor. Timmy is standing there dumbfounded. I scream at him (which I will admit now was a little harsh, but WTF?!). He starts to cry because I yelled and because he is dripping with orange juice. Ok... step one, get some f-ing towels and attempt to clean up the juice from the floor, I can deal with the fridge later. Shit! It is under the fridge. Ok, no clue how to deal with that, put it on the back burner. Step 2, get the screaming kid to calm down and get in the bathtub. Of course this takes a millennium because he is sopping wet and doesn't like to touch his wet clothes. Disrobe, waters too hot, adjust, waters too cold, ok just right. Pour in some bubbles... "I DON'T WANT BUBBLES!!!" Ok, scope out the bubbles. Step 2 complete. Step 3 back to the kitchen while kid is in tub (bad mommy left him in there alone, he would splash if he were drowning right?). Three full size bath towels soaked in juice. I swear it was only 2 quarts! Check on the boy, grab the mop, run some hot water and mop up the floor.
By this point I don't even want to look in the fridge. My hubby is due home for lunch soon, got to heat that up, get Timmy out of the tub and dressed. So, I do that and make lunch. My husband walks in and I don't remember the first thing I said, but I was so pissy by that point I am sure it wasn't nice. We eat lunch, Paul leaves. Ok, play with Tim get him tired then nap... that's all I have to do and then I can clean out the sticky fridge.
Luckily, the rest of my day went smoothly, but I never got my attitude turned around. That small event changed my attitude for the whole day. Thinking about it now it still makes me a little upset. Why can't my son listen to me and not get into the fridge. He knows he is supposed to ask. BUT he is 3 (will I still be saying this when he is 4?).
When my daughter got home from school. She came into the kitchen, helped me unload the dishwasher, and helped me clean out the 2 remaining shelves I had to do in the fridge. She was very helpful and I am grateful.
Man! It feels good to get that off my chest :)
It started out OK. Then it seemed to get progressively worse. The catalyst to the bad day was when my son decided he needed to have some yogurt. Not just any yogurt, but the yogurt behind a whole bunch of other stuff in the fridge. Of course he didn't tell me he wanted any yogurt. I was changing the laundry over in the other room when I heard water. Why am I hearing water?! I run into the kitchen, and it isn't water. It is a 2 quart pitcher full of juice spilling all over the inside of my fridge and on my floor. Timmy is standing there dumbfounded. I scream at him (which I will admit now was a little harsh, but WTF?!). He starts to cry because I yelled and because he is dripping with orange juice. Ok... step one, get some f-ing towels and attempt to clean up the juice from the floor, I can deal with the fridge later. Shit! It is under the fridge. Ok, no clue how to deal with that, put it on the back burner. Step 2, get the screaming kid to calm down and get in the bathtub. Of course this takes a millennium because he is sopping wet and doesn't like to touch his wet clothes. Disrobe, waters too hot, adjust, waters too cold, ok just right. Pour in some bubbles... "I DON'T WANT BUBBLES!!!" Ok, scope out the bubbles. Step 2 complete. Step 3 back to the kitchen while kid is in tub (bad mommy left him in there alone, he would splash if he were drowning right?). Three full size bath towels soaked in juice. I swear it was only 2 quarts! Check on the boy, grab the mop, run some hot water and mop up the floor.
By this point I don't even want to look in the fridge. My hubby is due home for lunch soon, got to heat that up, get Timmy out of the tub and dressed. So, I do that and make lunch. My husband walks in and I don't remember the first thing I said, but I was so pissy by that point I am sure it wasn't nice. We eat lunch, Paul leaves. Ok, play with Tim get him tired then nap... that's all I have to do and then I can clean out the sticky fridge.
Luckily, the rest of my day went smoothly, but I never got my attitude turned around. That small event changed my attitude for the whole day. Thinking about it now it still makes me a little upset. Why can't my son listen to me and not get into the fridge. He knows he is supposed to ask. BUT he is 3 (will I still be saying this when he is 4?).
When my daughter got home from school. She came into the kitchen, helped me unload the dishwasher, and helped me clean out the 2 remaining shelves I had to do in the fridge. She was very helpful and I am grateful.
Man! It feels good to get that off my chest :)
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Fall in love all over again…
Today my family went to see the 4th Shrek movie. It was very cute and entertaining like all the others. But this one seemed to hit a little closer to home for me and my hubby. Sorry if this spoils the movie for anyone… The plot of the story is Shrek is frustrated by his life, he doesn't know who he is anymore (Amen Shrek!). So, he has a bad day and has a fight with his wife. He runs in to Rumpelstiltskin and drinks too much, ends up signing a contract to change one day of his life. Basically, it ends up being like "It’s a wonderful life," a you don't know what you got 'til it's gone theme. While Shrek is in his one day as an ogre romp he has to make Fiona fall in love with him again.
There is a line in the movie (yes, I realize I am quoting a cartoon ;) ) where Shrek says, the best part about today was I got to fall in love with you all over again. I have to admit I teared up at this. Later when we were leaving the theater my hubby asks if I cried. I said no, but I did tear up. He admitted he teared up too which is not something common for my man.
I guess my point is that we here in reality don't have the ability to relive our lives. We are in the present, no time travel option available. We need to look at every day and search to find the little things that make us fall in love again. With our friends, family and spouses. There are little things that annoy me to know end about my husband. I can probably make a whole list, but there are little things that I adore too.
I want to fall in love with him every day.
There is a line in the movie (yes, I realize I am quoting a cartoon ;) ) where Shrek says, the best part about today was I got to fall in love with you all over again. I have to admit I teared up at this. Later when we were leaving the theater my hubby asks if I cried. I said no, but I did tear up. He admitted he teared up too which is not something common for my man.
I guess my point is that we here in reality don't have the ability to relive our lives. We are in the present, no time travel option available. We need to look at every day and search to find the little things that make us fall in love again. With our friends, family and spouses. There are little things that annoy me to know end about my husband. I can probably make a whole list, but there are little things that I adore too.
I want to fall in love with him every day.
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